


I Still Hesitate

by DesertMoon



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Blow Jobs, Body Image, Body Worship, Bus, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, MCR never happened, Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 20:17:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4450772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertMoon/pseuds/DesertMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank's had an awful week. He hates everything, and he hates himself. </p><p>When Gerard turns up a day early, he can't necessarily fix Frank's problems, or his self doubt, but at the very least he can be a pretty good distraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Still Hesitate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluemoongirl99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoongirl99/gifts).



> Is it creepy to gift shameless smut to people you don't know? PROBABLY but i'm doing it anyway because ^^ read and left super sweet comments on a bunch of my shit and I appreciate it okay, thanks.  
> xo  
> ***  
>  **DISCLAIMER** : This piece of writing does not contain any factual information. These characters are entirely fictional and I make no attempt to represent any real people. I ask that readers have respect for our community; please do not share this work where it won't be welcome. Should this work offend or upset, please contact me. I will happily and immediately discuss, or simply take it down.

He finished screaming into the mic and didn't even thank the crowd as he stormed offstage. He ignored them yelling his name. He ignored his bandmates exchanging glances as they handed their kit over to a techie. 

He ignored the texts from Ray asking when he'd be around in LA to meet up. 

He ignored the mirror in the dressing room because, seriously, fuck that.

All he did was walk into a door on his way out to the bus, and curse loudly into the night air when he found he'd run out of cigarettes.

His head hurt, he was so fucking hungry but he felt sick, and he'd bought these pants only a month ago and now they were too tight. So was his shirt. He rolled into his bunk and kicked at the wall. It fucking hurt. He didn't know what he'd been expecting... that it would make him feel better? It didn't. 

Just a phone call from Gerard was usually enough to bring his mood out of the pit into which it so often sank. Today, though, not even the knowledge that he'd be seeing Gerard in under 24 hours was enough. Singing to a sweaty room full of punk kids wasn't enough. He closed his eyes and brought his hands over his face. The worst thing about feeling like this was that he felt like he should have outgrown these episodes at age 8. It wasn't natural to get this angry for no reason. Because, sure he'd had a bad few days, but he shouldn't feel this angry. Or was he upset? He couldn't tell. 

His belt was digging into his stomach. His shirt was suffocating. He groaned out loud and forced himself back out of his bunk. He was halfway through unbuttoning his shirt when there was a tapping from the front of the bus. He took a deep, calming breath. 

"I thought you guys were going out to the bar before- Oh." he said, only half concentrating while he pushed the door open. "Gerard." he said, subconsciously pulling his shirt back around his front. Who knows why, this would certainly not be the first time his boyfriend had seen him without a shirt on...

"Hey." Gee said softly, smiling up at Frank. He was holding a fucking red rose, the nerd. His eyes swept up and down Frank's body, sending a jolt through him, also sending his arms tighter around his stomach.

"Come in, oh my god." said Frank, moving backwards to let Gee in. "I didn't think you were coming until tomorrow." he said, trying to gather his thoughts. He'd been ready to down three shots of JD and fall back into bed. Not that he wasn't happy to see Gerard or anything, but, timing... Plus he felt like shit. He wasn't doing too well at hiding his lack of excitement either. 

"Don't I get a hug?" said Gerard as he shuffled past Frank into the bus. The light was fast leaving his voice. Frank drew his arms up around himself again. 

"Oh, huh? Yeah! Yeah, of course just- I just finished the show- I'm kind of gross- I should shower or-"

Gerard stopped and raised his eyebrows at Frank in utter amazement. 

"Babe, I've been in vans with you, holy fuck, we've got a lot closer when you smelt a  _lot_ worse." he said, pouting as he held his arms out, rose dangling limply in his right hand. "Oh!" he said, remembering before Frank could step forwards. "This is for you!" he said, smiling sweetly and holding the flower out to him. Frank ran a hand over his face and then took it. 

"Thanks, Gee." he said with a sigh, turning to place it next to the sink. Gerard's face fell, Frank's tone finally hitting him full force.

"Okay." said Gerard, holding both hands up. "What's going on? you're not- Frank stop doing your shirt back up!" he said, lunging forward and catching his boyfriend's hands mid-movement. Frank finally seemed to focus when Gerard made contact. They looked into each other's eyes for a few long seconds. "Hey." Gerard whispered. Frank relaxed a little. His shoulders slumped. 

"Hey." he said back, finally allowing his hands to be dragged away from the front of his shirt. It fell open. Gee didn't let him squirm. "I'm sorry. Can we start over?" he said. Gerard smiled and drew him into a tight hug. As he pulled back he planted a soft, quick kiss on Frank's lips. 

"I've missed you." 

***

As it turned out, Gee had caught an early plane and, rather than letting Frank know, he told their tour manager so that it would be a surprise. He'd have preferred a slightly more enthusiastic welcome, but as Frank explained his week, Gerard understood.

Gerard always understood.

The tour had been fuck up after fuck up; the band were fighting, their equipment was breaking, Frank's voice was giving out. He missed Gerard, and their dog. He wanted to go home.

Gee did what he always did, tried to distract him, made him laugh. He changed the subject. They talked about the van days and sci-fi. For an hour or so Frank let himself believe that it was the old days.

He tried to ignore the way Gerard's gaze kept drifting over his body while he talked. He tried not to let himself feel uncomfortable or cover his stomach with his arms.

He didn't want to draw attention to himself, but he couldn't help fidgeting. It was one thing he didn't want to talk about, didn't even want to hint at it. Gee had fought with weight his whole life. It would be completely insensitive of Frank to whine because he'd gained a few pounds recently. Completely, unacceptably insensitive... and why did Gerard keep  _looking_ at him like that?

"I'm sorry it's tough right now, Frankie." he said, running a hand lightly over Frank's forearm. "But you know what Ray always tells us. Ups and downs, you know." he said softly. Frank caught his eyes. 

"Well, you don't have to stay on the bus tonight, obviously." said Frank, breaking their eye contact. He didn't like it when he couldn't read Gerard. It usually meant he was planning something, and anyone familiar with Gerard could understand why that was often... dangerous. He stood from the table and moved over to the door. "But I doubt the others will be cool with me sneaking an early hotel night, so, why don't we meet up tomorrow-"

"Frankie." said Gerard.

"Hmm?" said Frank too quickly, raising an eyebrow. 

"Stop." he said. 

"Stop what?"

"I've spent a night on a bus before. I've spent a night  _with you_ on a bus before." he stood up to join Frank, stepping towards him slowly. "Multiple times." Frank's eyes darted to the side before meeting Gerard's again. He was met with a steady but puzzled gaze. Gerard cocked his head, red hair falling into his face. "Frankie, is there something else up?" he said, lines etching themselves around his eyes as he frowned. 

"No, Gee, I'm okay. I'm just- you know- tired." He didn't know why Gerard's approach was making him nervous, or why all his energy was channeled into keeping his eyes away from his reflection in the microwave, instead of keeping his eyes on his boyfriend. 

His beautiful boyfriend who was  _right there_ a whole night early, and he was so dedicated, and so talented and he didn't deserve him.

"Frankie?"

His boyfriend who would probably leave him in a second if they spent every day together. Because they only saw each other for a week or two at a time, and Frank was different now. If Gerard had to spend more than a fortnight with him, he'd probably dump him in a second. He'd realise that Frank was no good.

Frank wasn't so happy now. Frank wasn't so skinny now.

"Babe?" Gerard said, frowning in earnest. He looked worried. Frank was worrying him. He started when Gerard's hands found his again. "Frankie, am I..." Gerard's eyebrows raised ever so slightly. "Baby, I'm scaring you." he whispered, immediately taking a step back. Frank's brain wasn't in gear. All he could do was shake his head dumbly. His expression was probably not very convincing. "Yes." said Gerard. "Yes I am. Talk to be, baby?" 

Frank shook his head and turned away. He walked back, between the bunks, and into their back room. He paced back and forth until Gerard joined him, closing the door behind them. Frank was too worked up to hear the click of the little lock. 

"Dewees told me about this." he murmured. Frankie didn't hear him. Gerard approached again. When he caught Frank's hands he smiled. Frank looked back at him blankly. 

"I'm tired, Gee. Why don't I see you tomorrow." he said dully. Gerard was shaking his head before the words were even out of Frank's mouth. "Honestly." he tried again. "You weren't scaring me. I'm just spacing out because of this fucking tour. Can we do this tomorr-"

"Change." said Gerard. 

"I- What?"

"Change. I'm not going anywhere. It's nothing I haven't seen before." he said lightly, leaning back against the door. Frank could see his change in tack, but he wasn't sure what it meant. 

"Gee, please-" 

Gerard simply raised an eyebrow. Frank knew that look. Nothing was budging him now. 

"Fucking fine." he grumbled and turned around, finally peeling his damp shirt off his arms. "But you really don't have to stay here just because I'm contractually obliged to-" he gasped as cold hands crept over his hips. "Gerard!" he squealed as the shirt hit the floor. Gerard hushed him, bringing his lips right bellow Frank's ear and pressed a warm kiss there.

"You look so good, baby." he breathed.

Frank was completely conflicted. His brain was caught between disgust at himself, the feel of Gerard pressed hard up behind him, and the rest of the clutter swirling around up there. 

"Gee," he said tightly, whole body stiff. "I don't know if I can-"

"You don't have to do anything." whispered Gerard. "All you gotta do is take your pants off." he said, laughing softly into Frank's shoulder. "Not difficult." Gerard pushed himself back off Frank, fingertips digging into his hips momentarily. Frank scowled over his shoulder, but still reached down to his fly. For a few embarrassing moments he had to battle the pants down over his thighs. His face was burning, so he stayed fixedly facing the storage cabinets. Gerard hummed as Frank kicked the jeans away from him. He didn't turn to face his boyfriend. Gerard looked perfect, as usual. He always looked perfect. The layer of chub around his middle was nothing but soft and awesome and his jawline wasn't sharp but it was _his_ and Frank couldn't stand how hideous he must look alongside him. How unworthy he was for this shit. 

Gerard appeared in front of him, grinding his thoughts to a halt.

"Hi." said Gerard. Frank didn't know what to do, so he gave Gerard his best pleading look even though he knew it was hopeless. 

"What are you doing, Gee-" he sighed, trying not to let just how vulnerable he felt sneak into his voice. 

"Nothing." said Gerard, stepping forward. Except, there wasn't really any space for him to step into, so he ended up right in Frank's face. Flush up against him. 

"Gee-"

"Shh." 

Gerard brought his hands back up, pressing them flat over Frank's waist, and onto his back, and down to his ass. Frank raised his eyebrows but said nothing, wishing that this had been six months ago. He would have loved everything about this if it was only happening six months ago. He hung his head as Gerard started tracing blindly over the tattoos on Frank's back. He knew every line. 

If Frank carried on the way he was, those lines would probably be stretched beyond recognition before long. His stomach plunged and he closed his eyes like it could reverse the flush in his cheeks.

Why was Gerard even touching him right now. Why did he even want to _look_ at him. They should just not see each other until Frank had dropped all this fuck extra weight and-

"Frankie." purred Gerard. "Frank, look at me." he said, still running his hands lightly over Frank's skin. Frank forced himself to look up. "Don't you see-" said Gerard, pressing his lips to Frank's lips, "Just  _exactly_ ", and to his neck, "What you're doing to me?" and to his shoulder. Frank frowned and tried to organise his thoughts. Something in the back of his mind was screaming to wake the fuck up because, hello, Gerard Way all up in his space. 

"Frank." Gerard said more sharply. Pressing up against the pudge that Frank knew was hanging over the band of his boxers. He winced. "Oh...It's almost like..." mumbled Gerard, lips against Frank's neck again. "Almost like you don't think this means anything." he whispered, rolling his hips against Frank's. Oh... Even in Frank's distant state, he gasped. "Are you listening yet?" said Gerard. His hands slid up into Frank's hair, tugging only slightly. Frank nodded, eyes finally slipping closed. 

"Like..." Gerard said, pressing his lips to Frank's, but moving away too quickly for Frank to react. Frank was trying to hotwire his brain, and with Gerard flitting around like this it was too hard to catch on in time. Now, at least, he was pressing back into his boyfriend's touch. Gerard hummed happily against his skin. "It's like you have no fucking idea how amazing you look right now. How much I've missed this" he said, pressing his fingers into the soft skin above Frank's hips. He winced but didn't shrink back this time.

"I feel like shit, Gerard." he sighed, and Gee finally leant forwards for long enough for Frank to catch his lips, suck on his tongue and feel him humming with it.

"Oh, my baby." was all Gerard said in reply when they detached. His hands kept moving, feeling everything they touched like he was trying to memorise Frank's form.

"What are you doing?" Frank asked, closing his eyes and trying his hardest just to fucking forget about his bullshit self obsession.

"Just spending some time with my boyfriend."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I like never see him-" Gerard purred, Frank felt his stomach tightened as Gee pushed him right back against the wall and nipped at the base of his neck.

"And I came back to see him and he was all sweaty and hot from the show and- shit- I just couldn't keep my hands to myself." Gerard said. Frank's mouth fell open as Gerard slipped a hand between them and pressed his palm against Frank's dick through his pants. "Get it, baby?" Gee said, his voice was rough already and he knew Frank liked that. He fucking knew how obscene he sounded. "You're in the wrong industry, sugar, I swear." Gerard added, giggling as he leaned back and raked Frank with his eyes. He tried not to squirm. His arms began to tighten around his stomach and Gerard raised an eyebrow, biting his red lip into his mouth and reaching forwards.

His hand landed on Frank's wrist and just rested there.

"I can think of better places for those hands." he said and Frank's resistance was crumbling. There was black still lingering in the corners of his mind and he couldn't shake it. Still couldn't appreciate Gerard's damp tee and the way he tossed his hair out of his face in that fucking _way_.

A shiver ran up Frank's spine as Gerard dropped to his knees in front of him. He lifted his hands to Frank's wrists again and pulled gently. Frank didn't resist. He watched Gerard's brown eyes, which were boring holes right into him. Slowly- so slowly- Gerard held his gaze and moved Frank's hands into his hair. Frank let out an involuntary noise at his boyfriend's wide eyes. Frank's grip tightened in Gee's hair, where they'd latched helplessly as soon as they'd been placed there.

"I can't believe I have you all to myself." Gerard said, dropping his gaze to Frank's crotch right in front of his nose and looking delighted. "All those kids in front of you every night. Every fucking night and they all want you, baby. You know they do, but they can't have you. They don't get to see you like this-" Gerard groaned and ran his tongue over his bottom lip. Frank blinked uselessly.

Gerard was being kind to him. Gerard was just being a good boyfriend. It was all Gerard ever did and- he was pulling Frank's boxers down slowly. "And I really hope you know this..." said Gerard, flicking those wide eyes up to meet Frank's again. "I mean, you gotta, because there is no way someone this fucking gorgeous could ever look in the mirror and  _not_ realise just how hot they look." 

As Gerard's hand finally closed around his cock, Frank was beginning to have a hard time remembering why he'd been resisting. 

"Yeah." whispered Gerard. "You know." he muttered thoughtfully. "It's a wonder you get anything done at all..." His hand kept working, Frank brought his arm up over his mouth because he was breathing hard and looking at Gerard like that was just too much. His voice alone was so good. So much fucking better than he should be getting.

"...because if I looked like you," Gerard said, his breath cool over Frank's cock, straining in his hand. "I wouldn't be able to pass a mirror without jacking off-" 

That was it. Frank tugged on Gerard's hair, dragging him roughly off the ground. Gerard had the nerve to giggle as Frank crushed their lips together. His hands went right back to roaming as Frank kissed him properly, rough and deep. He pressed his body up against the stomach Frank hated so much, but Gerard made no signs of disgust. Nothing in his behaviour suggested that he was putting on a show.

"You're just too pretty, baby." Gee said between kisses. "You looked like porn like that, do you know that? Looking down at me. So good. How am I gonna do another month without this. Fucker. Go on tour and it's hard enough and then I turn up and you look like fucking- like this- oh-" 

Before Frank could stop him- protest again or fuck everything up somehow - Gerard was on his knees again. And when Frank looked down at him he saw that old spark in his eyes. It was the same one he'd seen... pretty much from exactly this position, actually... the first time he and Gerard met. Whoever said bathroom hookups with strangers never led to true love was... mainly correct.

But not in this case. 

Frank looked down, mouth hanging open again, as Gerard went down and swallowed around him again and again.

There was too much white noise filling his head, it was pushing everything else out.

As Frank looked down at Gerard's pretty mouth, his long eyelashes, maybe he forgot to watch how his stomach looked. As he fisted his hand in Gee's hair, more gently this time, maybe he forgot to pay too much attention to the extra chub on his arms. Just for a few minutes. 

And when the white-out hit him- and he wasn't thinking much of anything- he did manage to feel nothing but love for his boyfriend. 

Gee ran a hand over his mouth as he peered up at happily- genuinely happily, too, because Gerard can't fake a smile for shit.

Frank sank to the floor, half because his legs were giving out, but mostly because that's where Gerard's mouth was. He kissed him, and let Gerard wrap his arms around him tightly. He only squirmed a little when Gee refused to let go.

"I wish you could see what I see." Gerard mumbled into his hair, and Frank bit sharply on his lip to hold back the sting in his eyed and squeezed back. 

Muttering something about reciprocation, Frank pulled back and a small smile finally spread over his face. He pulled Gerard close again, sucking on his lower lip. It was less needy on his part this time, and just slightly more considered. His braincells began to function a little, and he stuck his hands down into his boyfriend's pants. When he heard Gerard's breath hitch, and his head fall back, Frank thought that maybe he was tolerable after all. 

Frank still pointedly ignored the mirror when Gee pushed him back up against the storage room door. He still tried not to think about what he must look like, sweaty and undone and pink. But for as long as he could feel Gerard's insistency, and the desperation of his tongue in his mouth, he thought that maybe he'd found the prettiest guy in Jersey who was just 'artistic' enough not to care. 

And as he felt Gerard's hands, still skimming over Frank's body, and as he felt him giggle something right into his mouth, Frank realised that, really, he'd known that all along. He just sometimes got a little distracted, and he forgot that he was dating _Gerard;_  the guy who'd once eaten onion rings right out of Frank's pocket at 3am, even though neither of them had known how long they'd been there. It was the guy who sent him up to four different birthday cards if he couldn't decide which was his favourite. It was the guy who'd quit his job to follow Frank on his first three tours, and later referred to it as the longest first date ever.

It was his best friend, and his favourite person, and if he thought that his gross body was going to change that, then he was doing Gee a terrible disservice by doubting him. He kissed his way down Gee's neck, tugging at the hem of his shirt in question. As Gerard happily obliged, Frank sat back and ran his eyes over Gerard's creamy white skin.

"You're so beautiful." Frank muttered. Gerard paused but simply smiled in return, shuffling back over on his knees and rolling his hips up against Frank. 

"Can I tell you something?" Gerard said in that _voice_ of his and Frank was melting all over again. He nodded all the same. "So are you." he whispered. Frank shut him up with another rough kiss, slamming Gerard against the back wall and taking a moment to appreciate the whimper it earned him. 

When Frank finally got his hand in Gerard's pants, pushing them halfway down his thigh and leaving them there, Gerard pushed him back a little. Frank just peered at him from under his hair. 

There was a thick moment of silence between them, Gerard had his lips sucked into his mouth and he let them go with a swipe of the tongue. Frank could only watch the sight in front of him; Gerard's cock over the top of his underwear, red marks scraped down the top of his thigh from the zip of his jeans and a purple bruise spreading over his jugular. Frank's breathing picked up and Gerard's eyes were drifting down again. The drew a hot track over his chest and stomach and- 

"Turn around." 

"What?" Frank said, pulled from his daze. 

"I wanna see all of you, turn around." Gerard said. 

And that was a fucking order. 

Frank swallowed and swivelled on his knees. He felt like a moron but he was so eager to get back around to watch Gerard that he was past caring. 

"Fuck." moaned Gee from behind him. Frank threw a look over his shoulder and almost passed out. Gerard was leaning against the wall, hand moving slowly over his dick with his eyes trained on Frank, flitting over his body like he was a fucking paid attraction. 

"What are you doing?" Frank said horsely. Again, Gerard chose not to answer this question. 

"Come here." He said instead. Frank couldn't stop staring at the movement of his hand. He did as he was told, turning and shuffling clumsily over to his boyfriend, who kissed him, still jacking his cock. 

The next time he was pushed away Frank just knelt back onto his heels and looked at Gerard's hooded eyes working him over. He flexed his hands, ignoring how thick his fingers looked on his thighs, and reached forwards. 

"Can I?" He said, and there was a plea in his voice he would never admit to. Gerard smirked at him and shook his head, finishing with a flick of his damp hair. Frank hovered a hand over his own dick, still too sensitive to be of any fucking use. 

"Why-" 

"So close..." Gerard moaned, taking Frank's outstretched hand in his before dropping it quickly and motioning for Frank to go closer. He did. 

"I'm so close." Gee said again. "And I just wanna- just wanna look." he said, running a hand down to Frank's waist and lingering there, before pulling him in close and squeezing his ass hard. Frank's eyes almost rolled into the back of his head. When he opened them and everything came into focus, Gerard pushed him back none too gently and looked over him greedily as his hand sped up and his mouth fell open. His gaze finally met Frank when he gasped, then scrunched them closed, coming in ribbons over Frank's thighs and crotch. 

"Fuck." he whispered. Frank echoed him and flopped onto the floor. 

Gerard cleaned them both up in silence in the tiny bathroom, hot fingertips fluttering around and lingering where they didn't need to. Frank didn't let him make it out to the bunks without pressing up against him and licking into his mouth like they hadn't just got off five minutes ago. 

Gee grinned down at him when he finally stepped back, breathing hard, and gave him another once-over. He ran a single finger down Frank's bare chest and his smile grew warmer. 

"You really don't mind." Frank said. And it was a realisation, not a question. But just like before, he thought that he probably knew this all along. It was _him_ who had the problem, not his hot, awesome, weird boyfriend who he suspected did _not_ shower before getting on the plane that morning, by the way. But Frank loved him anyway. So fucking much. 

"Mind?" Gerard said, a genuine crease appearing between his eyebrows. He closed the tiny gap between them and pressed their foreheads together. "You look like every single wet dream I had in highschool times a million." Gerard murmured and Frank couldn't hold back the laugh bubbling out of his mouth. 

"What the fuck?" he giggled. Gerard smiled but didn't laugh with him. 

"I'm serious. You look perfect, sweetheart. Alway have." he added. "But today's just.. I mean..." he grinned and gestured vaguely to Frank- standing in his arms in a new pair of boxers. Frank flipped Gee off but grinned into his hair when he nuzzled against Frank's neck. 

Frank felt a little better as they squashed into his bunk together. They laughed like they used to and bickered about space and kicked at each other but it was so familiar that Frank felt like he could fall asleep at once. He carded his fingers through Gerard's hair as they lay in each other's arms. Then, once they'd squabbled some more and finally settled down into a realistic sleeping position, he relished the warmth of Gerard's back against his. Later in the night he'd feel him curl around him, just like he did in their double bed at home- even though they bought a King Size so they had all the space they needed. 

He knew this wasn't the end. Even an awesome blowjob couldn't fix the curl of frustration whenever he passed his reflection, or the flat out dread when someone waved a camera his way. Gerard was great, but he hadn't convinced Frank that his body was worth looking at. Ever. Right now, he wasn't sure if anything could do that. What Gee had done, however, was remind Frank that he was going to get awesome blowjobs no matter how he viewed himself. And if Gerard's stubbornness was anything to go by, he'd probably be getting blowjobs every day for a month if Frank told him it would help. 

"Do you believe me yet?" Gerard mumbled, long after Frank thought his snuffling had melted into sleep. 

"Shut up you asshole." muttered Frank, and because Gerard was an angel, he knew that, for now, that was the best he was going to get. So he made an unhappy noise, but turned around quickly to catch Frank's lips in a soft kiss. 

"Goodnight, beautiful." he whispered as he settled. Frank ran a hand over his back and breathed out long and slow. 

"Goodnight, princess." he replied, and a little later, Gerard's snores filled the empty bus. 

It was just for now. 

The guys would be back from the bar soon and would probably start some kind of afterparty in the kitchen. They'd wake up tomorrow and do another show. Eventually, Gerard would leave to go back on his own tour, and the nights would get difficult again. 

But that wasn't yet. and anyway, he should have learnt by now that Gerard always seemed to turn up whenever he was at his darkest. And if that was the case, Frank was pretty sure he was willing tumble into the pitch black every single day. 

Whatever.

He was fucking tired and he was warm and, right now, Gerard was right next to him. So, right now, that was all he needed. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> was this okay I don't even  
> ***  
> I need a better summary goddamn  
> ***  
> xo


End file.
